My overactive imagination

Sometimes, I think that my trip to Indonesia is just. too. difficult.
lol.

I feel like I should start at the beginning! (It's a very good place to start!) Before I even applied to ACICIS. Well, it all started in second year, I think, when my teachers started asking me if I would be interested in going over to study in Indonesia. Partly because of my fear to do so, and partly because I knew my boyfriend at the time wouldn't like it, I never seriously considered the idea. Then one day, I was speaking with my friend Rae, who questioned why I wouldn't even consider going. And, then I seriously started thinking about it. Why shouldn't I go? That was the beginning of a period where I fought bitterly with my (now ex) boyfriend about going to Indonesia. He just couldn't understand why I needed to go to Indonesia in order to learn Indonesian! In retrospective I'm not bitter towards him, I just think perhaps he was ignorant about learning a second language.

That problem over, I had to start the application process. WOW, that was difficult!! Every person I went to, told me to go and talk to someone else. No-one seemed to know anything about what I was talking about, and I would get sent from one faculty to another. i.e. Asian studies would send me to Humanities, then Humanities would suggest I go to Asian Studies!!! Frustration! Then, because Indonesia is counted as a "level four, high risk destination", I had to fill out an application to study there before I could even apply to the program.

Thankfully, my request was approved. I waited anxiously for my application to the program to be approved, which it evidently clearly was.

Now starts the next of my difficulties. I have been practising Indonesian day and night. I read the news in Indonesia; listen to Indonesian music and radio recordings. I meet with an Indonesian friend at least once a week. I've recently starting watching movies and reading novels in Indonesian. But I feel like my Indonesian is not improving. It's really freaking me out. I know that I speak very formal Indonesian, not the every day Indonesian that is used by most people. This is despite my attempts.

I've been getting really worried about this. I got so freaked out that tonight I started crying when a friend of mine told me that I had been making mistakes. It was really ridiculous but indicative of how wound up I was. Fortunately, I have a friend who has already gone on the program, and he let me read his blog. It seems that he was thinking exactly the same thing as me. This was a pretty big comfort to me. :-) I thought I was just eccentric, but perhaps I'm not so weird after all... Anyway, thanks heaps Bondan, reading your blog made me feel ten times better. I really liked reading about all the fun things you did with your Indonesian friends. It reminded me that there will be good times :-) Gotta stop stressing so much!!!